Exactly two days ago, I was confided by a good friend of mine. Her story went a little bit like this:
After breaking up with a person she’s been seeing for more than a year, she found someone who could fill up the gaps her ex left. That someone, I believe, was beyond special, judging by the way she’d narrate to us about this girl… yes, a girl. I’ve never seen my friend this happy, and I was glad she was happy. My friend asked the girl she liked if she could court her, and the girl didn’t stop her. From that day on, my friend seemed to be the happiest person in the world… until this week. Just this week, she came to school crying her heart out -- I’ve known her for nine years and I’ve never seen her cry that much -- over the girl she really liked. Her friends even told me she never cried over her ex the way she was crying over the girl she was courting. It made me sad seeing my friend that broken, that vulnerable. She told me that the girl whom she liked told her to stop and let go. Just like that, would you imagine? It just seemed to scar my friend so much that she didn’t have anything else to live for… like she didn’t have any reason to wake up and go to school anymore. It really made me sad.
I reckon the girl wanted my friend to let go of her because the longer my friend gets to be closer with the girl, the more attached she’d get… and that’s hard. Once you’re attached to a person, slowly, that person becomes a part of you. And once that person becomes a part of you, you will be afraid to lose her… and once that happens, losing her will equate to losing your life.
I am no fortune teller to give you predictions about what can happen between the two of them -- my friend and the oh-so-dreamy girl. It may seem predictable -- the girl finds love when she goes to college and forgets about her bisexuality -- but it isn’t.
Who knows, the girl might be hurting as much as my friend’s hurting?
Who knows, the girl might be hurting as much as my friend’s hurting?
One thing’s for sure: the two loved each other dearly. In a span of I don’t know… more than a month? Yeah, something like that. They got the chance to share their completeness with each other. I was really hoping they would end up together, because they looked so damn happy. So damned happy. But life sucks.
I empathised with my friend, so I sent her a twitlonger:
I’m glad it made her feel better somehow.
Anyway, this blog post is to give my friend more advice on how to make it. I’m pretty sure she can -- she’s one brave person. She was brave enough to ask that senior if she could court her. She was brave enough to take chances.
- Life is shit (Known fact).
- When life gives you sand, learn to make a sandcastle.
So I also realised that you really need to prioritise the important things in life. But when love comes, it simply floors you… knocks you off your feet. It’s maddening, how love can completely drive a person insane and terrified and happy and smitten, all at the same time. I learned that ♫ The worst things in life come free to us ♫. The fact that all of Ed Sheeran’s songs can be advices to different things… it’s really cool.
Going back, when falling in love, we should learn to be brave. Like what I told you, brave enough to take risks. We should learn to face the consequences if we choose this person or if we reject that person. If we find out that they aren’t the ones destined for us, then we should just go with the flow of our instincts. Cry, let it out… just do it. And I quote the ever-famous line in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “We accept the love we think we deserve.”
To Siao, never regret what you’ve done. Never question God or the Universe (or whoever seems to be responsible for that) why that has happened to you. Everything happens for a reason, and usually, the reason is to mould you into a much better, much stronger, and a much loveable person. Of course, you can never avoid feeling like it was such a waste, like when you told me that she’s the first girl you’ve become pretty darn serious with. That’s life. It sucks. And it’s unfair. But you should learn to see the light: this is a beginning of something new, something better. You will find someone who will make your heart stop and drop more than it has ever had. That person may be out there somewhere, still wandering through the twisted paths of life. Or maybe she might be nearby, casually observing you and whispering to her friend how cute you seem. Either way, you will still live. You will still carry on, because that’s how it works. You will find someone better, even though Odis was, by far, the best you’ve had. Trust me.
Ed Sheeran sung it best, tears do remind you of life. Thank the heavens or the Divine Providence that your cheeks are stained with droplets of salty water, reminding you that you’re still alive and you’ve got a life to live. This isn’t the end. The end of a chapter, maybe. This is only the beginning of a new, brighter, and better chapter. You’ll be surprised by how ten times better your life will be this year. I just know it.
You don’t need to rush into love. It’s not like that. Be patient. Give yourself time and hold onto your mementos of you and her. Cry your heart out once or twice, but slowly learn to let go. Slowly but surely. Never force yourself to move on because that’s simply fooling yourself. Never pressure yourself, and never ever ever ever let anyone pressure you to carry on. Remember, come what may, it’s still up to you to change the path you’re taking.
Always smile and count your blessings to feel better. Eat food and hang out with friends. Appreciate the good things in life and never take them for granted. Live life to the fullest and the best. You’re one beautiful person, and you deserve to be loved the way you love people. You’ll find someone soon, trust me. Have faith.
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