Livestrong

A few nights ago, I was watching the late night news with my parents. There was an exclusive about Lance Armstrong, a world-renowned cyclist who battled cancer throughout his whole career. I knew him as the guy behind the yellow ‘livestrong’ ballers and nothing more. My dad had one of those ballers and he passed it to me. I think I returned it to him and he probably broke it. 

I knew nothing about the cyclist. I didn’t know anything about his cycling career or anything; I grew up recognising him as an inspirational person, because I heard that he had cancer, testicular cancer, and he still went on with his life, and he inspired people along the way. My dad liked him until the news of Lance doping spread like wildfire. “He’s an idiot,” my dad remarked. My dad doesn’t like him anymore which made me kind of sad.

I wanted to think that way too -- that he’s a total idiot and all -- but I know how it feels. I’m that kind of person who knows how to empathize with other people so much, it’s creepy. Yes, I am aware that I lie a lot -- my mum’s said it herself -- but that’s not the reason why I am not bashing Lance Armstrong. In fact, I admire him even more, because he still had the guts to fact the whole world and say, “Hey, I doped.”

It’s quite hard to be in his shoes right now, mainly because everyone’s making jokes out of his admission, and perhaps 90% of the whole world thinks he’s crap. It’s hard lying too much and not feeling guilty. I’ve lied countless of times and looking back, I feel guilty. Whether it’s big or small, important or not, I still feel guilty. And it’s even harder admitting that you’ve lied, because people will look down on you and judge you.

What’s harder is gaining the trust back. Gaining the trust from every single person in the cycling society, every fan, every sports fanatic… that’s like describing how water tastes like, because it’s just that complicated. Lance will need to prove himself to the whole world that he’s not a liar anymore -- hopefully what he says now is true.

Don’t get me wrong; I also feel disappointed and kind of betrayed that Lance Armstrong doped. I just hope he’s okay now.